Give thanks;jesus
20 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
Hello im YEAYEA 18 years old HAHAHA. happy.
but well in this 18 years this year was amazing birthday for me. PraiseGod for this amazing plan for me.
More friends celebrated. FOR THE FIRST YEAR IM IN SINGAPORE(: cell friends remembered my birthday. surprises and surprises I really love it. Thank God.
well i have been here in this earth for 18 years. But i only get to know Jesus 1 year ago. I feel very depressed whenever i tell Him. cause i want to hear this from JESUS: Hi daughter vivian Happy birthday Daddy loves you. hehehe <3 Blessed Loved<3
well Jesus said that to me this year. and I’m so proud happy and i just cannot stop praising him with this song. i just know the starting and it just repeats its cycle from home-> polyclinic But im happy at least i need praise Him. Jesus is my awesomeGod92 (:
happy birthday vivian:D i recieved lots of wishes from facebook. Thank you for sending this people here and i feel so blessed. Facebook rocks sometimes. Oh well but im just noob lazy rather twitter on it. HAHAHA okay fine.
So well
a short message for my awesomeGod
for we walk by faith and not my sight 1 Corinthians 5:7 Jesus you are the only one that i could live for.
jesus you rocks. thank you for those awesome loves, awesome dinner , lunch cakes, celebration, cards. Lord you have plan this and i really appreeciate all these..thank you so much. thank you for loving me so much. Although i did nonsense things, forgive me, when I’m down rant, yell , God your ears are always open for me. you have never leave me. 2timo 2:13 imes when we are faithless. God is always faithful .all this little verses swimming in my head. Lord i will never forget. Freely gave your love. surrender your life at the cross 2000 years ago. pour out your love.Lord you are amazing. I really thank you for your love. thank you for the plan although I HATE it right now. but Lord you have always walk me through that storm. may this be a long lasting relationship. No matter how bad the situation, dont leave me if i ever leave you, please scold me till im awake and let me walk with you by faith again. I dont want to lose you awesom-egod92. i dont want to lose you. i will lift my hand to praise you high and lifted up , my awesome daddy. you are the one i seek ; peace, love, plans , etc. is all to you Lord. no one but you. May you speak louder so i could listen to you even clearer. i dont want to lsiten to Mr . s.a.tan . All i want is you. (: Lord i love you. thank you for loving me soooooo muchhhhhh(:
in jesus most mighty name ! Amen.
GOD YOU ROCKS(:
love.
28 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
what is really love? hmmm. Love as in parents. I find that my parents are weird. from the static shown, middle child will be treated badly. kind of my family is. I dont know if I’m thinking too much or what. but yet i feel the biasness between my sisters. it feels like nobody love me in this family. it feels like I’m a stranger. I’m just not their child. it feels like that. very pain in my heart. very weird i dont know how to even face them.
a very good example when im at melbourne. dad calls me photographer so i took out the camera and just started taking pictures of them. without me. they just take and i checked if the colour was alright, everyone left. Ever since this incident happen i really ask God who am I to them.. did God plan this? i really wonder. Love what is parents love to me. It hurts whenever i say about this. for not giving me allowance for the past 3 days i survived with my little saving. and she didnt give it back to me she just give me extra 10$ on it. money is also another issue.
the more i really think the more i should even ask God am i really their child. I really wonder I dont know it hurts me a lot but i cannot raise the issue to them. hurt God knows everything. it so hurt that i dont know who to go to including God. although He did say that He will love me but love…..
it all happens today that my mum just forced me to go out when i really dont wish to go out. finish one of the report and so tired and restless. couldnt fall asleep and just yelled at me just to go out with them. on the way i cried. really I really wonder. to my eldest sister they dont yelled at her going out. in what kind of treatment I’m having God knows.that baiseness i felt that. is irritating it hurts. HURTS. what is this? i really wonder am i really thinking so much. sometimes i avoid the issue. sometimes i really try to face the issue sometimes i cant be bothered. sometimes …. what can i really do.
it makes me think deeper again. did God made a mistake for me to be born in this family OR my expectation of their love from me is higher? maybe family is just going to overseas with them and have fun that’s the way they loved or they cooked for me everyday. aside from all these. treating me is another issue. through all these issue i really want to know am i their child.Am i inside my mom stomach for 38 weeks and give birth to me? really i really want to know.
somebody help me out. 
p.s im tearing when im typing this post out. is a serious issue. God you got to help me.
